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Oh No, Jeanie is Unhappy

By T.J. Simers

I’m still flying high after just seeing Top Gun Maverick, which makes it very hard to write about such a downer as the Lakers.

Last month, calling it an “exclusive,” LA Times’ sob story columnist, Bill Plaschke, told everyone, “Jeanie Buss isn’t happy.”

Oh no, I can’t believe it, how did Plaschke land such an exclusive. You mean to tell me the owner of the let-everyone-down Lakers isn’t happy.

Hey, I wrote with regularity 10 years ago that Jeanie was unhappy, bemoaning the fact Phil wouldn’t give her a ring. I never called it an exclusive because she cried to everybody.

Plaschke, meanwhile, goes on to write three graphs later: “Jeanie Buss isn’t happy.”

Did he think we all skipped his first paragraph? Is he already running out of things to write finding a need to repeat himself? Is it just some kind of trite journalism trick?

I got an exclusive for you: If the owner of the Lakers isn’t unhappy after the 2022 pratfall by her team, then what will it take?

Let’s move ahead a month. The Lakers still stink, the NBA Draft is the big event now. And it pretty much won’t include the Lakers who need help.

But we know this, Kyrie Irving may or may not be coming to the Lakers. I guess that’s a lot like another Plaschke proclamation, writing the hiring of Darvin Ham as head coach is “nuts,” but “maybe, also, perfect.”

If I was a regular reader of the Times, I would be unhappy. Which is it, Mr. Opinion Maker? I could get my next-door neighbor to offer such wishy-washy analysis.

As for Kyrie, Plaschke gives us under the headline, “Adding guard a super dumb idea,” a reminder of how he would run the Lakers if allowed: “Trade LeBron.”

There are twitter reports Kyrie has already talked to LeBron about getting back together again, as well as reports Mitch Kupchak’s Hornets want to get involved in a three-way trade.

Rumors upon rumors.

And I haven’t even mentioned Russell Westbrook.

The Lakers are a mess and there are reports out there that Phil Jackson, the guy who floundered as an administrator with the Knicks, likes Westbrook. Some reports have gone a step further to say Phil would like Westbrook to remain with the Lakers.

And now Phil, who is the expert at making Jeanie unhappy, is reportedly advising her.

Good thing she still has Plaschke to lean on.

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