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Laker Garbage

By T.J. Simers

Radio and TV guy, Fred Roggin, urged me to write more. I tell you that so you know who to blame.

I wasn’t going to write today, but I’m trying to read the L.A. Times every day, and while it only takes a couple of seconds, I’m now irritated.

The Times is feeding its readers gobblygook, namby-pamby junk as if they are Laker cheerleaders or on the payroll.

The headline atop Dan Woike’s Times’ story read: “Lakers are without picks but not hope.”

Kind of wants to make you throw up in your mouth.

Woike writes about David Nwaba, a G League tryout, and what does that have to do with Thursday’s NBA Draft?

“It was there that the Lakers spotted David Nwaba, an undrafted player who attended three colleges,” writes Woike. “They swung a deal to get him added to their developmental team, and before they knew it, he was on the court with the NBA team.”

And now the Woike punchline: “That he didn’t find continued success with the Lakers doesn’t matter.”

OK, so Plaschke is probably Woike’s mentor, but where is the Times’ editor who says this is crap: That he didn’t find continued success with the Lakers DOESN’T MATTER.

Success is all that matters if you are talking about the Lakers.

Woike’s story continues inside the newspaper under the headline: “Lakers can attract undrafted players.”

Who cares? The Times is trying to convince Lakers’ fans and readers the team is just fine without draft picks. Why write such blather?”

But Woike does, the following paragraph reading: “Fortunately,” and where is there anything fortunate in not having draft picks?

“Fortunately, the Lakers front office…” Where is there anything fortunate about the Lakers’ front office these days?

“Fortunately, the Lakers front office — from general manager Rob Pelinka to consultant Kurt Rambis to scouting department folks such as Joey and Jesse Buss to personnel director Nick Mazzella — has a track record of finding role players from nontraditional routes.”

There’s that throw up in your mouth feeling. Obviously, Woike is trying to butter up the front office. Things sure have changed at the Times.

Right now the Lakers’ front office is an assemblage of basketball idiots; if they were any good they would have put together a roster of role players to get the Lakers in the playoffs last season,

I used to work with Woike at the Orange County Register. Nice guy, who has gone to seed apparently in his eagerness to please Laker supporters.

Woike writes the Lakers roster issues will make them an attractive landing spot for players who go undrafted. Pelinka getting the chance to tell agents: “Give me your tired, your poor, your gawd-awful players and that should excite the paying customers.”

Who needs Kyrie Irving when you can have the best bums available?

Woike cites the addition of Austin Reaves as the reason to believe in the Lakers’ brain trust, but then just as quickly points out Joey Buss had Reaves penciled in to play in the G League all season.

“The combination of potential playing time, a proven developmental track record, access to tremendous star power and as good of a G League living situation in El Segundo as any in the league should push the Lakers to the front of the line for anyone who doesn’t get picked,” writes Woike.

How come Woike’s fingers didn’t just stop typing when he realized how ridiculous that sounds? Since when has the Times’ sports section become a house organ for the Lakers?

We were told last year the Lakers were going to win the title with James, Davis and Westbrook; they didn’t make the playoffs. I don’t have a problem with that. It happens.

But don’t try to sell the public garbage like it’s just the start of happy days are here again.

Or, as Woike concludes his story: “They’re not the only ones looking for players like that, but at least the Lakers can feel comfortable…”

I have to stop myself right there. Do we really want the Lakers feeling comfortable right now?

“…comfortable with their chances of finding an impact player. After all, they’ve done it before.”

Holy Smush Parker.

PS. Word comes the Lakers have acquired the No. 35 pick; I guess they didn’t buy Woike’s nonsense either.

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