By T.J. Simers
I love my dog dearly until she starts slobbering and it’s so disgusting.
That brings me to Plaschke. I love him dearly.
But then the LA Times sports columnist starts slobbering, as he did Sunday morning all over the USC Trojans—again.
He predicted they will go 12-0, suddenly throwing on the prognostication brakes when it came to declaring them National Champions “because no one would dare predict the playoffs.” Who says he doesn’t have a sense of humor?
Before he writes his playoff column predicting a Trojans’ National Championship later this year, the slobber just dripping off the newspaper pages, I have a suggestion. The LA Times wants to get rid of the newspaper, so how about promoting the online product—-Read Plaschke on our web site. No Spittle.
There was a time when our beloved LA Times windsock was writing: Westwood, Ho!
He wrote: “When it comes to college football, Los Angeles clearly belongs to the Bruins. Not USC, not anymore, not even close, and not only just this year. This is a Bruin football town…”
In time he would be leaping into Pete Carroll’s arms, and now he’s gone giddy over USC coach Lincoln Riley and quarterback Caleb Williams.
It took much less time for him to jump on the Dodgers’ bandwagon, writing for Aug. 1: Trade Deadline Debacle, and how Dodgers’ GM Andrew Friedman “got shelled,”’ while lamenting “the Dodgers failed. And that failure will haunt.”
Ten days later he wrote Clayton Kershaw is back and “so are the LA Dodgers World Series title hopes.”
They come and they go, so many Plaschke predictions and demands: Trade LeBron, no wait, don’t.
Oh well, the Trojan honks will love it, and maybe Plaschke will generate a ton of conversions, the happy-chirpy column generating a bunch of new online subscribers to make the LA Times’ editors thrilled.
Now we just sit back and watch the Trojans go 6-0 against teams even UCLA could beat, reading Plaschke’s Sunday columns on Monday because USC can go 12-0 but can’t win in time to beat the LA Times’ 3 p.m. deadline.
Then it’s Notre Dame, and Utah, a team that Plaschke tells us can’t beat USC because it already has done so two-straight times. Plaschke logic.
Then it’s just a matter of doing away with Cal, Washington, Oregon and UCLA before he can write a column about how it is going to win a National Championship.
A year from now after Riley and Williams have left town, we’ll be told it’s always been a Bruins’ town, Westwood Ho just on hold for 22 years.
